Home
   About Me
   Services
   Contact
   Resources
   

 

Bethany Miller, Psy.D.
Licensed Psychologist #17138


3020 Fillmore St.

San Francisco, CA 94123

-------------------------

1683 Novato Blvd. Suite 1B

Novato, CA 94947

 

415-518-7999

 

Check-Up

HOW WELL DO YOU NEGOTIATE WITH YOUR PARTNER?

By Bethany Miller, Psy.D.

     Circle the most appropriate number for each statement.

     1 = Never   5 = Always

1.  My partner and I both feel safe to express our opinions and feelings.  1 2 3 4 5
2.  Whenever my partner and I have a conflict, we are able to identify the situation we need to change and recognize each person's responsibility in making the change. 1 2 3 4 5
3.  I feel that I am generally a good listener with my partner.  1 2 3 4 5
4.  I feel that my partner listens to and respects me.  1 2 3 4 5
5.  I recognize that even if we don't agree, my partner and I each have a right to our own opinion. 1 2 3 4 5
6.  My partner and I are able to make compromises that feel good to both of us. 1 2 3 4 5
7.  My partner and I make efforts to discuss conflicts when we are both calm..  1 2 3 4 5
8.  Whenever I am upset with something my partner is doing, I make sure to express my concerns and don't hold them in until they explode. 1 2 3 4 5
9.  My partner and I make efforts to meet one another's needs.  1 2 3 4 5
10.I feel that my partner and I share our responsibilities in a way that is fair and feels good to both of us. 1 2 3 4 5

     Score:

     40 – 50        Congratulations!  You and your partner are able to communicate and negotiate your needs in a healthy way.

     30 – 39        You have some good negotiation skills, but there is room for improvement.  Both of you may want to find ways to better express your needs and explore creative ways to get them met.

     Under 30     Time to do a couple-assessment.  Do you feel that it is not safe to express your needs in your relationship?  Are you often angry and resentful with your partner? Do you feel that your partner does not take your needs and opinions seriously? Do you have a hard time understanding/meeting your partners needs?  Do you feel you do more in the relationship than your partner does? Couples therapy may be a helpful place for you and your partner to work on improving your negotiation skills.